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How to face the child to defend action
From;    Author:Stand originally
Above all, we want to know, resist force as a child stronger child is more sensible. Psychologist of a children tracks Germany investigated 100 2 ~ 5 years old to have intense revolt consciousness and two groups of children that are without mutinous consciousness. To the youth period, the child that discovers mutinous force is powerful has 85 % to grow the youth to have eye tough-mindedly, greatly; And the child development that does not have bicker consciousness becomes psychokinesis strong have 24 % only, great majority depends on the kid that others lives to do not have judgement.

Next, we also want to realise, the behavior of adult is more convincing than the language, the child becomes the word of adult the wind other ear, be have a reason -- adult says a talk too nag. Become a child to be able to understand the word of adult, when beginning to know a bit thing, adult becomes nag. The child is forced to cover on ear does not listen, ego is defensive.

Be like child overturn cup, adult begins blame. Escape a kind of method of conflict: The child is forced not utter a word, be like without overturn cup, the conflict of escape and adult. Do not listen to not irritated heart, also won't have conflict.

Hear the indignant response that observes father and mother with refus, it is to examine parental authority and child counterpoise independently a kind of method of limits. Be like, adult says, "I had said 3 times to you, you still do not pick up it rise " , right now the child does not listen to be not picked up, for the sake of exploring parental authority arrives why to be planted after all degree.

So, behavior of stubborn of the adult such revolt to the child, gruff, how should do?

Classical law

1, the ear that should open the child, want to listen attentively to the sound that the child talks first. Parents did not realize he is right at ordinary times the child's requirement often ignore. The child's requirement, may negligible to adult, and very important however to him. The child because ability is limited expression is not clear, adult listens without patience. This meeting makes the child feels distress and be not respected. If adult often can listen attentively to the child's requirement, the child also can't well refus listens the command of adult.

2, adult should be accorded with to the child's requirement actual. Adult often carries some of child to make not clear demand to the child, or it is raise too too much, complex or ambiguous requirement, the child comes true hard.

3, the another end that is not in a room or back issue orders to the child, should face the child, had better be to crouch, talk in same horizontal, let the child have friendly feeling and be respected to feel.

4, the command wants simple, kind. The attention of this age child centers time weak point, your Excellency so bade should be clear about palpability, understand easily.

5, if the child is right,the demand that adult says did not react, the attention that can cause him through another kind of means -- the body of mobile child. If call the child to eat lunch, and the child plays simply, ignore, can hold him in the arms rise, bring back desk edge. If he is injuring another person, do not listen to an advice again, want to stop his action instantly, take him to leave. The manner wants friendly, do not want to tow away the child forcibly.
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